Costa Rica Recap

Some mornings I wake to screaming monkeys, sometimes to fighting wild turkeys, or singing macaws.  I do love the wildlife - even when it disturbs my sleep. Or.. get chased or jumped at by the monkeys. That is always fun - as I run off screaming in tears!

We have gone surfing, and swimming and ziplining and floated down the river and ridden ATVs and so much more. This trip was great even though I spent half of it nursing my aching shoulder. We went on horseback rides, went to friends dinner parties. It was really, really a fun trip. Dad played jokes and the kids and I bonded and had a blast. We watched SO many movies, as they don't have cable. We go down to the DVD place and almost watched a new movie every night. Of course, we spent our Sunday afternoons watching football games in an air-conditioned bar!

My favorite part about this trip was getting to sit on the back of the jet ski while watching my dad, his friend Charlie, a camp kid Bret and my brother James do tow-ins to the huge waves! Oh how incredible that was! These huge thundering waves building as they quietly make their way down the wave, peacefully.

I love the food here. Ah, how delicious is the fish and the fruit! I could eat this everyday! In fact, I think that I did! Along with a few sweets here and there... mmm gelato...

Saying goodbye to my family was sad and I was pretty surprised about how real my emotions were for this family that is still really new to me.  I almost cried - I truly love them with all of my heart.

I had a few "self-improvement" thoughts when I was out there.. Such as language classes while in Italy, how beneficial that would be! Maybe, I can make some friends in the city that way. Also, I have a book idea.. but, I will save that idea for myself as I work on it this year.. :) I will keep you posted. I promise.

I did battle myself quite often. I think of him often, especially when I'm alone at night. I worry about Italy and what I am going to do with my life. I have so much to figure out. Should it really be this tough? My friend in Colorado had her mother pass away, I broke down and called my mommy crying and telling her how much I loved her. My heart broke for them that day. I still hurt for them.

My mind is often my prison where self-torture is more often then not.. its unfortunate. Somedays I hate myself. I have so much in this life that is at my fingertips. I can live the life. But I don't. It's almost like I refuse to allow myself the pleasure of living. All I feel is - alone.

I have the world in my palms.