What To Do...

So, here I am, sitting on my couch back in the United States after my internship in Italy failed. What a disappointment! I was supposed to be there for 6 months, working and exploring Italy on my days off. However, nothing ever works how it is supposed to when it comes to my life. It's true. The story of my life - ups and downs of my dreams and their failures.

Don't get me wrong, my week in Italy was amazing until I learned that my internship was not what it was supposed to be! I explored Rome, Siena, Naples, Pompeii and Sorrento in that short time and really covered a lot of ground!

The past two days that I have been home have been insane! There was a hand grenade dropped on the I-5 freeway in my hometown of San Clemente, CA and yesterday the earthquake in Chile had created a Tsunami Advisory for my town! Something tells me that I am not supposed to be here. As much as I love this quaint beach town, I am needing change. I am ready to move back to Colorado and finish my last semester in school, graduate and hopefully find a decent job.

I haven't been able to drag myself out of the house after having such a huge let down in Italy. I went to dinner last night with my mom and my sister Caila at 9 Style Sushi which is just up the street from my mother's house - oh, did I mention, I am now without a place to live or a job since I gave up everything for my Italy internship? And today, it was hard to force myself to get up and shower. It is rather pathetic I know, but I was so excited for this. I thought living and working in Italy was going to change my life.

Like I said before, I'm looking for change...

Shouldn't Care..

So, let me tell you a little story about my last relationship. I dated this guy, for a good 10 months officially and we had decided to move in together. Lets call him T. Well I trusted T with my whole life. I thought that I loved him and I have a hard time trusting people, and after awhile, I began to let myself trust him.

WHAT A MISTAKE!

T and I went to a friends for a party. This was a good friend of both of ours, and I had no reason for concern about leaving him there, drunk. I had an event at school the next morning that I had to work, and it was a huge event for me, very important, and at 5 am... So I left him there, which I had done so many times - because I TRUSTED him. But before I left, in came this girl, and immediately I had a bad feeling. I warned him about her, saying she keeps trying to come on to him (which she was!) and to be careful around her. He said I was paranoid. I said I was right.

Not only was I right about her, I was wrong about him.

Later, I found out this was one of the many girls he cheated on me with. It broke me. I went down a long road of bad decisions for awhile after. But one of the girls in particular, who in the beginning I had a bad feeling about as well - lets call her H - was a big part in our fights at times. I knew that they had a history, and I knew that in the beginning of him and I, that T and H had hooked up several times.

Uhm.. HELLO?! Is anyone in there?! DUH! That should of been a big warning sign right there...

But that was when we weren't "officially dating" and that was his argument. So I dealt with it.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Well, one year after our break up. T and H are "officially" dating. Talk about a stab in the heart.

I know I shouldn't care, I know I am happier and better off without him, however, it is still hurtful to find out that of the many girls T had cheated on me with, that he got with the only one I actually knew about to begin with and felt threatened by - H. Makes me wonder how many times he actually cheated on me with her, when we were together. Makes me wonder why he kept me around if he wanted to cheat on me with her.

Anyways, here I am, single and 22 years old, trying to not let it get to me. I think I have lost all faith in love, trust, honesty, and men. Right now I am crazy about this one guy, but I can't figure out what the deal is. He wants me to see him, he says he misses me, misses my kisses and laying with me relaxing. But then he will go days without talking to me. The unfortunate thing about this is we are not exactly in a close proximity to each other. He doesn't do long distance, and neither do I. However, I would try it for him.

I think I'm wasting my heart again. I hope I'm wrong. I want to be wrong.

Last Day - Pompeii and Sorrento

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

We wake up early, around 5:30am and start to get ready for our daytrip to Pompeii. We were out the door and on the bus to the train station at 7 and arrived in Pompeii about 8 or so, and after stopping at a quick bar for a cappuccino and american coffee for Jewdee. We walked about 2 minutes down the street and Voila! we were the first ones in, so we quickly buy our tickets, stow our luggage and begin to explore the ancient lost city.

The ruins were absolutely amazing and breathtaking. I was really happy we had a chance to see it. After, we jumped on the train to Sorrento and discovered it wasn't possible to visit the Almalfi Coast before we needed to try and return to Rome.

So we wandered the streets of Sorrento and found ourselves overlooking the sea. This is by far my absolute favorite place I have seen yet in Italy. I absolutely love the Italian beach town and how quiet and quaint it is in comparison to Rome. We make our way into a ceramics shop and admire the pottery. I begin to feel really light headed and dizzy, but I picked out a pretty wine stopper and olive oil spout and we set off to find some lunch.  We stopped at a little outdoor restaurant and had burgers, fries and cokes. I think my dizziness that I have been experiencing throughout my trip is probably due to the lack of meat in all my meals. The waiter laughs at us, silly Americans... Oh well! When we finished I managed to trip myself down the stairs and the waiter begins laughing and exclaims, "TOO much COCA-COLA!!!" It left me laughing the whole day.

We jumped back on the train to Rome and Giorgio picked us up to get our remaining luggage at his grandmother's apartment. We did some souvenir shopping for our families and then said our goodbyes to Francesca and Sergio as we rushed out of Rome to our hotel at the airport. Stopping along the way for Mexican food for dinner and crepes for desert. Nutella crepes! Yum! I couldn't help but laugh at us, how funny that we had American, Italian, Mexican and French food all in one day!

We leave for New York in the morning. A very sad reality strikes me as I understand my adventure is prematurely over.

Adventure to Napoli :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

This morning, I wake up to a wild lion's mess of hair. I did not sleep well apparently! Jewdee and I began getting ready for the day, I had my croissant with nutella and we waited for Giorgio to pick us up and take us to the beach house they owned. Meanwhile, I suggested a daytrip to Naples and Pompeii and Jewdee agrees! Lets get out of Rome.

After Giorgio had woken up late and we informed him of our plans, we cancelled our trip to the beach house and ventured out on the Frecciarossa train - which is the fastest one they have - to Napoli, where we took a taxi to our hotel, the "Renaissance" by Marriott. The hotel was really nice, and we quickly dropped off our luggage upstairs in our room and ventured our way onto the streets of Napoli to grab a late lunch of margherita pizza and coke. We sat on a bench happily munching our large slice of thick-crusted pizza, enjoying the sights and people around us.

We were picked up at our hotel for a 3-hour private tour of Naples and almost immediately I decided I enjoyed Naples 10 times more then Rome. I got to see the west coast of Italia for the first time and it was beautiful! We saw the views of the castle and the coastline. I really began to appreciate Southern Italy. To the left is the Castel Nuovo.

Below is the Castel dell'Ovo which was converted into a fortress  in 1154.

We were dropped off at a restaurant called "Antonio's Restaurant" and I ordered baked white fish with potatoes and Jewdee had the beef filet with potatoes. My dish was buttery and melted creamily in my mouth, and the potatoes tasted of wonderful garlic and rosemary. Jewdee ended up having two steaks since the first was undercooked, and I had some of it, also being delicious. I don't remember the name of the desert, I think it started with a "s" or a "z" but it was yummy, with a lemon custard-like frosing on top of a light, airy, delicate pastry cake. Tomorrow, we will visit Pompeii, and hopefully Sorrento and the Almafi coastline, but we may not have enough time. I can't wait!!!

Below is the view over the north west region of Naples...

Leaving Siena - AKA "The Rescue"

Monday, February 22, 2010

This morning, I get dressed and tell Vittorio that if he cannot feed his horses appropriately, I cannot work for him. He angrily stomped into my apartment asking if my bags were packed. I answered yes, and he quickly threw my bags into the car. It was 8:30am, he threw my bags out at the train station at 8:45am. The drive is normally 30 minutes. Yes, I'd say he had a temper...

Not knowing exactly what to do, because I didn't expect him to toss me out on my butt without making arrangements first, I called Jewdee and Giorgio and they were on their way. I waited there for hours while Giorgio, Jewdee and Sergio made their way to "rescue" me. I sat in the train station restaurant with a pastry and bottled water reading my book, "Jane Eyre" and writing in my journal.

When they showed up, we jetted off to a tiny trattadore in a neighboring Tuscany town. The roast beef and peas were amazing and I had my first taste of Chianti wine. When finished, we drove back to Rome. At some point, my stressed out mind relaxed away into a deep sleep for the remainder of the 3 hour drive.

I woke up when we were pulling up to Francesca and Sergio's house. Jewdee and I worked on the computer, changing flights and hotel reservations while I pouted brokenheartedly. Francesca offered us some hot chocolate and I had expected a liquid drink of hot cocoa. I was instead served a delicious pudding. It definitly hit the spot!  Afterwards, Giorgio drove us to a grocery store where we picked up croissants and nutella for the morning. Then he dropped us off at his grandmother's apartment where we would be staying the night.

It was hard not to laugh when he showed me how to lock the door. Of course it had the typical deadbolt and chain lock, but my favorite was that it also had this contraption that locked into the ceiling, floor and five (yes.. five) additional bolts into the door frame! Jewdee and I giggled over the situation once he left over my nutella croissants and her chips and cream cheese. I tried to shower in the frozen water and gave up. It was ridiculously cold! I quickly washed my body, jumped out, wrapped a towel around me, then proceeded to wash my hair over the edge. I bet I looked crazy but thats ok - I'm in a bathroom with freezing water and no one can see me. I climbed into bed and wished myself to sleep for a few hours-tossing and turning and flinging my arms.

Journey To Siena

Roma - Day 3

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Finally! We got to sleep in a little bit today, that is, until 8:00 am. Today's adventures included visiting the Castel Sant'Angelo and the Pantheon. Giorgio was to pick us up and show us around, and he insisted on us visiting the Spanish Steps as well.

The view from the top of Castel Sant'Angelo was breathtaking. I literally gasped at the sight of the view overlooking the entire city. The angel on top staring down thrusting his sword in his hand as if he were warding off any bad. It was beautiful.

Legend is that this angel is portrayed as the Archangel Michael sheathing his sword as a sign of the end of the plague in 590. The Castel Sant'Angelo has been used as a castle, prision, fortress and now a museum.

We wandered the streets packed with people shopping at high end shops such as Prada, Gucci and Louis Vuitton - not exactly my scene.. and we arrived at the Spanish Steps. Hundreds of people gathered, meeting their friends for lunch, chatting and sitting on the stairs. Horse drawn carriages sat awaiting young lovers wanting a romantic ride. While we wandered through one of the streets, I hear the faint clip-clop of the horse's shoes on the cobblestones, and as they made their way my direction - with my back facing them. I hear a loud car horn honking, so of course I turned and began laughing histerically when I learned it was the horse drawn carriage that was honking in the street. Oh Italy, you cease to amaze me.

At this point, Jewdee and I are starving, and not in the mood for more Italian food. We were a bit difficult to please today, but thats alright. We stopped several places for sandwiches, but we found the meat and cheese mysterious and unidentifiable, then we learned that they had been sitting there since the morning... So we found a Hard Rock Cafe and ordered burgers to go. Giorgio thinks we are crazy, but we were dying for burgers and cokes!

We jumped on a public bus for a few blocks and went to find the car which was actually a lot easier than I had expected and we drove off to the Pantheon, a Greek word meaning "to honor all gods" where I was excited to find that it was more amazing than I could of expected.

Happily, I wandered through this dome, which I learn is the largest masonry dome in the world. The oculus, which is the large hole at the top of the dome, and almost 8 meters in diameter, provides natural light for the building and occasionally rain and snow fall through it and drain into the holes built into the floor. The structure has been in continuous use throughout its history and even used as a Roman Catholic church dedicated to Saint Mary and the Martyrs.

We stop to pick through the books at a local store not far from the Pantheon. I excitedly picked out a set of books portraying the works of Bernini, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Caravaggio. Giorgio had to run off quickly, and it being only 4pm, Jewdee and I decided to have him drop us off at the Piazza del Popolo which was close to a bus pickup for our hotel. We wandered the streets and gazed at the high-end shops while we were trying to find trinkets for our families at home. However, we didn't find anything and had a few minutes before our bus was scheduled to arrive so we stopped for an expresso and cafe americano for my aunt. We waited for a good twenty minutes or more after our scheduled pick-up and we were getting picked up at 8 for Giorgio's father's birthday party. So we hurried and jumped on the metro to rush back to our hotel and get ready for the party.

I quickly threw on a pair of black leggings, high heels with a black and white short checkered dress that flowed against my upper thighs when I walked. We took off to the private club and it ended up being more fun than I had expected, considering only two of the guests could speak broken English to us. However, I was able to understand more then I thought I could, and I could make people understand me. We were served wine, bread, prosciutto, and mozzerella to start while we watched the guests of the private club dancing perfectly with their partners across the room. We were offered a second entree of pasta, and I had to refuse, too much pasta lately! But our main entree of margherita pizza came and it was delicious. I find it funny how much better pizza tastes in Italy! I watched as the couples flow easily and laugh thinking how if I were to go out there I would make a mess of everyone! I nibble at my slice of birthday cake and sip my glass of champagne as I imagine myself out there dreamily flowing around the dance floor with my dress clinging to my legs as my imaginated partner spins me into a smooth dip. I sigh... maybe one day I will learn to dance this gracefully...

Roma - Day 2

Friday, February 19, 2010

The alarm breaks the silence of the room and I start to groan as it is 5:00 am and we have to get ready for our day.

After last night's fiasco with the cab, which I just realize I haven't told you about yet... So last night we jumped into a cab, showing the driver the exact address and exact cross streets on the map of where our hotel was. He nods his head and takes off driving. I am sitting in the back seat, trying not to nod off, but we have been driving a lot longer then we should of been!  When he finally pulls up at the Marriott, we realize he has no idea where we are supposed to be! This is the wrong hotel!!! Jewdee jumped out of the car to talk to the security guard and have him give our driver directions, but the driver kept saying no, this was our hotel! Another taxi cab drove up, and he knew where we were going so of course, as we just wanted to get home now that it was 1:00 am and we haven't had any sleep in about 3 days, we jumped into his cab. After being forced to pay the first driver who got us lost in the first place 30 of the 50 euros he wanted, and then another 20 euros to get back to the correct hotel. Fantastic.

 So after that long exhausting night, we decided to leave no later then 6:30am to get to the Piazza di Repubblica by 8 for our tour of the Vatican. We stop at a little breakfast bar and have scrambled eggs and toast (we're such Americans) and I delightfully sip my tiny expresso. The tiny, sharp raindrops ping as they hit the cobblestone streets- which I completely adore. The rain sings its faint song as we finish our breakfast and head off to the Vatican.

Our tour of the Vatican was well worth the early wake up call. The place is simply amazing. We walk through the Sistine Chapel, imagining Michelangelo arching his head back, paint brush in hand. I found it somewhat funny that you are forbidden to speak and especially take pictures or videotape in the Sistine Chapel as well. The crowded room had a humming of people nervously whispering as if we were all kindergarteners again, afraid the teacher will catch us, but have so much to say! The security men inside scolding the admirers as they ooh and ahh at the ceilings.

Next of course was the Basilica of Saint Peter, which was even more amazing then the Sistine  Chapel. Personally, I thought it was 10 times more impressive, but to each their own! I loved the high beautiful ceilings and sculptures throughout the Basilica. The bronze and gold are overwhelming and yet theatrical.

We strolled through St. Peter's Square and stopped for lunch with some people in our tour. There were four others, a couple from the East Coast and two men from New Orleans. One of the men from New Orleans was this horribly annoying little fat man who kept talking about all of his money, his precious collection of art and other valuables. All of us at the table were a bit uncomfortable with him. He began harping on society today and my generation - how incredibly disrespectful we all are - please note that I have not said one word to him and had kept to myself the whole time. But there he goes, talking about all his money, and how he made four times over his lost valuables worth when Katrina happened. Now, this is a huge pet peeve of mine when people consistently talk about how much money they have. Maybe it's because I don't have any, but honestly, get a grip people!! We don't care about how much you have! You're still an ass!! Then he proceeded to tell a story about how he was getting his car worked on and a woman in her late 60's had offended him by asking him to conduct his business calls elsewhere then the lobby where she was watching the tv, and when he ignored her, she got up and slapped him. He told us with pride, "I got up and punched that bitch out and had her arrested!" Wow - and you say my generation is disrespectful, take a look at yourself sir. I was lucky the lunch was over because I had enough of him. I was furious.

Next, we wandered the Colosseum and the Roman Forum - both which were just as beautiful in the day as they were at night. I still can't get over how amazing these structures are, and how long it had taken the Romans to build all of this. It is sad to hear how not long after the Colosseum had been built, the city had been abandoned and all of the beautiful marble and travertine had been removed to use elsewhere. The Colosseum was essentially stripped of its glamour, yet it still holds this striking elegance in its moss covered structure.

We were picked up by Giorgio and had dinner at Villa Verde where I ordered a Margherita pizza. This was my first pizza in Italy - it was so delicious! The perfect combination of not too much cheese and just enough tomato sauce on a thin soft crust. I was full after the first slice, but I couldn't get myself to stop savoring the delightful taste - I ate over half of it!

Roma - Day 1

Ah, Roma...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Giorgio's parents, Francesca and Sergio, pick the three of us up at the airport, and we all cram our bags in and squish together like sardines. I have about 10 mini-heart attacks on the way to the hotel as we dodge accident after accident.

We arrive at our hotel about 9 am and immediately decide to take naps since we have a night tour of the city from 8pm to 10pm. We slept until 12 and decided we were ready to go see the city. About 2pm, Giorgio came to pick us up and we set out into the city to see the Catacombs of San Callisto, however when we arrive, we sadly discover that it is closed until February 24. Ah, but the beauty of Rome is there are several catacombs throughout the city and luckily, we turn out of the gates of San Callisto and VOILA! There is the Catacomb of San Sebastiano.

The Catacombs are outside city walls due to ancient Roman laws that prohibited burials within the sacred pomerium(city boundary). There are 65 known catacombs in Roma but only a few are open for public viewing. The San Sebastiano Catacombs are more intimate and better-preserved then the San Callisto Catacombs. The typical Roman practice of layering architecture and faith is fascinating.

Then we went to the Basilica di San Clemente, which was beautiful. I wanted to come to this specific church since it shares the name of my home town and because they call it the "lasagna of churches." It is said to be the best place to learn about the city of Roma's archaeological evolution. This church had several layers to it (hence the lasagna..) and you descend from the most recent to medieval and paleo-Christian layers, to the lowest where the adherents of the ancient cult of Mithras met and performed grisly rituals in the long, rectangular mithraeum.

Unfortunately, neither of these places allowed photos to be taken within, but I have found some online that will give you an idea.

Next, Giorgio brought us over to his parents house for dinner. Francesca made us lasagna (how fitting!) and then served proschetto and mozzerella. His family owns a farm out in the countryside and makes their own wine, so of course, I had a taste. I'm not sure what they called it but it was good! We were then served a dolci, and I cannot exactly say what it is, but from my understanding - flour rolled up and cut into tiny balls small enough to look like peas, then fried and somehow mixed with honey and formed into a circle. It was different, not bad, not fantastic.

Then we departed to the Piazza di Repubblica where we met up for our night tour. The city is incredible at night. We drove around and saw the Colosseum and Roman Forum which gave off a majestic glow, walked through the Piazza Navona and saw the three fountains by Bernini, the Fontana del Moro, Fontana di Nettuno and of course the fantastic Fountain of Four Rivers - which unfortunately was under repairs and partially boarded up. We drove by several other places which names I have forgotten, but one of my most enjoyed was passing by the Castel Sant' Angelo and into Piazza San Pietro to view the Vatican city, enjoying the lights of Saint Peter's Basilica and the Sistine Chapel.

My favorite, we took a walk to the Trevi Fountain - which is the most celebrated fountain in Roma - and it is spectacular.

Thousands of gallons of water per minute thunder to the awaiting blue pool at the base. PS... this thing is HUGE! Built in 1732 to 1762 by Nicola Salvi. It is hidden in a Piazza which we wandered through the narrow walkways hearing the thundering water proudly pouring over the magnificent sculptures.

Rumor has it that if you throw one coin into the fountain you will return to Roma, and if you throw a second, you will find love - or it will find you.

So, I grabbed one American quarter, and one Costa Rican  50 colones piece, relished in the moment and tossed my two coins wishfully into the depths of the water.

As for the how true this rumor is... 

only time will tell - but it is wonderful thinking!

Con Amore..

Bri

14 Hours Flying - 4 Hours Sleep - All in 2 days

Okay, so let me catch you guys up on what has been going on... I have been running around like mad!

Tuesday February 16, 2010

I wake up late of course, as it is the morning of my first flight out to Atlanta, so I rush into the shower and frantically throw the remaining items I needed into my bags. Yes, bags... I packed two to check and one carry on... 6 months is a long time!! Quickly, I made my comfort breakfast of hot tea and toast with nutella (yum!! ps... I'm absolutely delighted to see that they have nutella here... but not exactly ready to have it on my pizza - strange..) Jumping into the car and ready to jet off to the airport, I of course, spill half of my hot tea on my slacks. Great. My morning gets EVEN better :)

I choke back the tears as I say my goodbyes to my mom at LAX airport. Hurrying, I rush to the check-in stands and grab my ticket and drop off my two heavy bags - barely made the weight limit... whoops!! I turn to look at the security line and nearly have a heart attack! It's already 9:30 am and the security line is literally out of the doors of the airport and people are in line on the sidewalk!! Mind you that my flight is at 11am! Plus I am flying stand-by as a non-rev... not looking so good!!

10:52 I make it out of my security line and run to my gate - in high heels. Let me tell you how difficult it is to run in high heels on that slick floor, I nearly fell about 15 times, but if I was walking it would have probably been the same! The second I get to the gate, my name is called and I have been cleared for my flight. I call my aunt Jewdee to let her know I am on my way and will see her in Atlanta, as long as she clears her flight as well!!

I watched two movies on my flight to Atlanta then met Jewdee and Giorgio at the baggage claim, we were spending the night in Atlanta tonight and leaving to Rome the following afternoon. We dropped my bags off at the hotel, and after I quickly changed out of my slacks and heels and into my much more prefered skinny jeans and boots, we left for dinner at a local diner.

I could not sleep at all - Rome is in my reach!!

Wednesday February 17, 2010

Ah, how nice it is to make it on this flight, and in first class at that!! I am greeted as soon as I sit down in my huge reclining seat with a delicious champagne that tasted of fresh green apples. And dinner was amazing..

I am sitting here with Giorgio - a friend of my cousin Randy who came to escort Jewdee and I.

I had to take a picture of the food because I have never EVER had such nice food prepared so pretty on a flight! And I needed proof for my mom :)

First Course - Asian flavored salmon with soybean and seaweed salad, cream of asparagus soup, and a Greek salad of feta cheese, tomatoes, cucumber, olives and basalmic dressing.

Main Course - Mahi-Mahi topped with lemon butter sauce and served with asparagus and paella rice.

And of course, how could I forget, a delightful Bordeaux that had scents of cedar, wet gravel, vanilla and autumn leaves, along with velvety tannins and dark cassis fruit flavor - at least, that is what the wine description told me! Haha, I will one day learn how to describe wines, just not today!

I slept for 2 hours on this 10 hour flight, and watched 4 movies... a bit rediculous huh? I think so... of course I chose to watch the horrifying Paranormal Activity and couldn't sleep!

But, I watched the sun rise on the decent into Rome while eating my breakfast of granola cereal, strawberries and coffee. My heart has begun to race! I cannot wait to get off this plane!!

Hallmark Holiday

Ooh how I dislike February 14. Reminding me of just how alone I am. How I will not be kissing a loved one. How I will not be receiving flowers. Thank you Hallmark. Where's the Singles holiday?

Well Happy Single's Awareness Day! Cupid forgot me! 

My mom and I - alone as we both are - went and had fish tacos and saw "Valentine's Day" which, despite the title, was very cute and funny. I did enjoy it. 

I am leaving for Italy in two days.  Time has flown. 

Quick Last Visit

I had a short time between my trip from Costa Rica and to Italy, and I wanted to see him. So I left to the mountains and was in his arms again, after I stupidly acted all nervous and silly, but I was back and I am happy. I won't go through all the details - I like to keep some memories for myself ;)

This boy makes me smile - I'm hopeless. I am going to get hurt. I always do, but is this fun I have with him worth the hurt? I think so.. at least for now I do.. It is so easy to be with him, I can laugh, smile and play, but for some reason, I just cannot trust myself with him. I don't think I could take another heart break.

I love being in his arms, we relax, watching movies, kissing and cuddling. We hold each other as we joke and smile. I press my face to his chest as he wraps his arms around me. I shut my eyes memorizing the way his hand feels on my skin while the other is entwined in my fingers.

Remembering him.. because - I may never see him again.